Do you want to look like a social media fitness influencer? Well, maybe not.

There’s a topic that’s very close to my heart that I want to share with you. We’ve all seen the perfectly curated Instagram pages or the cinematic reels of women working out. These posts are often breathtaking—pictures of perfection. And if you’re human, you’ve probably looked at these images and thought to yourself, “I don’t look anything like that when I’m working out.”

And you know what? I hope you’re right.

Gone are the days when social media was filled with real-life moments of people going about their everyday lives. Instead, it’s been overtaken by carefully crafted, full-scale marketing productions of polished content.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with this per se. Curated content can be aspirational, encouraging us to step into better versions of ourselves. But what happens if we forget for a moment that social media is, at its core, a platform for marketing? What happens when we start to spiral into negative self-talk, comparing ourselves to something that’s been heavily edited or stylized? What if what we’re striving for isn’t even real?

This is where I have a serious issue with a lot of social media fitness content aimed at women.

If you look at the majority of men’s fitness content, you’ll see them putting in real work. They’re sweating, their faces are contorted in exertion, and they’re making all sorts of involuntary sounds while pushing through real lifts—often near failure. But the overwhelming majority of female fitness content is different. It’s carefully posed, with faces relaxed, perfect rhythmic breathing, and no sounds except for delicate inhales and exhales.

So, what’s the problem with that?

You can’t build muscle without putting in some serious work, and serious work is NOT pretty. Muscle is metabolically expensive—it takes a lot of energy to build and maintain. Your body is an efficient machine, and it won’t give you more muscle until you give it a real reason to. This means performing your working sets to, or very close to, failure. That kind of intensity looks nothing like what we typically see on social media accounts targeted towards women.

Training to failure means you can no longer complete a rep with proper form due to muscle fatigue. The muscles involved in the lift simply cannot generate enough force to overcome the resistance, no matter how hard you try. Do you think those last few reps are going to look aesthetically pleasing? Absolutely not.

As a coach, transparency is always my top priority. It’s vital that women understand what’s marketing and what’s required to actually achieve their fitness goals. What we see in social media content—and the effort that looks “pretty”—is often very different from the intensity needed to stimulate muscle growth and body composition changes. The effort required to build muscle, especially through lifting, looks quite different from what’s presented in most social media posts.

Now, that doesn’t mean your lifts shouldn’t look beautiful in their own way. We should always be striving for impeccable form and execution. A well-executed RDL or squat? That’s beautiful. But if your goal is body recomposition—whether it’s losing fat and gaining muscle, or just building muscle—please don’t get caught up in making your lifts look Instagram-perfect.

Lift with the intensity needed to drive muscle growth. Struggle through those last few reps. Make those faces, get out that one extra rep, and let the lift leave you breathless. That’s the real work. And that’s the kind of effort that leads to real results.

My own personal examples of curated vs real life images

Curated:

While it was important for me to lift a 'real' amount of weight during this photoshoot, here I am deadlifting 225 lbs. It’s a significant weight for me, but it’s still light enough that I can smile mid-set.

I was also only doing sets of 3-4 reps, which is far from a working set for me at this weight.

This lighter weight and lower rep range allowed me to stay composed and strike a pose for the shot.

Real Life:

This is the last rep of a working set of RDLs.

You can see my face contorted because this was hard work—I was pushing for that extra rep this week.

My waist may look a bit “thick” here because I’m bracing my midsection to generate the intra-abdominal pressure needed to protect my spine.

The lifting belt is compressing some of the tissue above and below it, which can make me look like I’m carrying more fat in those areas than I really am.

It might not be the most aesthetic look, but this is what a real working set lift looks like.

I got that extra rep, so who cares what I looked like in the process?